Sonia Mena Has No Plan B
⤏ BY GISSELLE PERNETT
⤏ PHOTOS BY EMILY ASSIRAN
Sonia Mena — non-binary actor, director, and writer — doesn’t believe in backup plans.
When they made the decision to pursue acting professionally, their parents — concerned with how hot and cold the entertainment industry can be — suggested they consider having another plan to fall back on. “We can’t bankroll you.” Sonia says, jokingly. “I was so adamant that I felt like if I had a Plan B, then I would end up doing the Plan B.” After a couple years of back and forth, their parents became more supportive. Sonia credits their success and drive to stubbornness and “dumb blind ambition.”
Maybe it was the stories that surrounded Sonia as a child or the wobbly stages they danced on when they were younger, but Sonia always knew they wanted to perform. Even as a self-described “shy kid," Sonia began dancing at age 3 and continued intensely for 15 years before realizing they didn’t want to be a dancer. They began writing poetry and spent a lot of time performing at the Destiny Arts Center in West Oakland. Though they started taking theater seriously later on, from a young age, Sonia knew performing in front of an audience was never something they were entitled to and they didn’t plan on taking that for granted. “Every time I got to perform, it was a huge privilege. Anytime we would get grumpy — as kids do — [the performance staff would] be like, “‘No, this a privilege whether it’s on a sidewalk or [stage].’ That had a big, big effect on me.”
We meet over Zoom on Sonia’s last day in New York. Their plans for the rest of their day include packing, attending meetings, saying goodbye to friends, and going to bed at a reasonable hour. It’s a couple weeks before the premiere of their Hulu series, Tell Me Lies, an adaptation of the novel by Carola Lovering. Set in 2007, Tell Me Lies follows a toxic relationship between Lucy Albright (Grace Van Patten) and Stephen DeMarco (Jackson White) whose love story ends as damaging and twisted as it began. Sonia plays Pippa, Lucy’s friend and quintessential “mean girl.” Pippa reads as the complete opposite to the Sonia on our Zoom call, who laughed when we realize we were wearing the same outfit (a black shirt and gold chain necklace).
“Every time I got to perform, it was a huge privilege. Anytime we would get grumpy — as kids do — [The performance staff would] be like, “‘No, this a privilege whether it’s on a sidewalk or [stage].’ That had a big, big effect on me.”
Despite this being Sonia’s first regular role in a series, playing Pippa means something more than a IMDB credit. “I don’t just do roles to feel like a prop.” In preparation for the role, Sonia turned to the classics —The O.C. and Gilmore Girls — for inspiration, but their rewatches served as a reminder of the lack of Latine characters. More specifically Latine characters without cheesy storylines. “It’s not a plot point,” Sonia says, referring to Pippa’s Latinidad. “It’s just a facet of her identity.” Sonia — who identifies as gender queer — dreams of playing a range of characters including male and non-binary characters.
Sonia approaches all their creative projects with the same authenticity, tenacity and respect. They co-founded SALTY, an all femme non-binary film collective with their best friend and director Sarah Rattay-Maloney dedicated to providing support and visibility to people of color in the film industry. “We're telling stories about women of color. Our crew should be women of color.” The inspiration for the collective comes from Sarah’s experience of being the only woman on set and desire to eliminate the hierarchical “I’m better than you” energy often present on film sets.
“There hasn’t traditionally been a lot of space for non-binary folks, for people of color, for women. It’s one thing to be like, ‘Yeah! We hired a girl!’ but sometimes people don’t have the training and it’s because they haven’t had the opportunity yet.” You can hear the power in Sonia’s voice. “It’s not just giving a bunch of people a job and being like, ‘Okay, goodbye!’ It’s also about making sure everybody has the resources and training they need.”
It’s clear community is important to them whether it’s bonding with their Tell Me Lies co-stars for the six months of filming or having their friends keep them grounded when riding the uncertainty of industry. “It’s pretty easy to feel those ups and downs as if they’re a reflection of who you are.”
“I don’t just do roles to feel like a prop.”
While Sonia described being on camera as their comfort zone, this hasn’t stopped them from exploring screenwriting and producing. Have you guessed Sonia’s a Capricorn yet? Around the time they started acting, Sonia began writing with Sarah passing drafts back and forth and flying between Los Angeles and New York to film. Though they wouldn’t necessarily call themself a writer, Sonia wrote, starred in, and produced the short film Freezerburn, along with their actor friend Ben Lorenz. Freezerburn — inspired by Sonia and Ben’s conversations about Tinder — won Best Short Film at the San Francisco International Film Festival.
Sonia is guided by the same passion that’s been there since they were young performing at community block parties. For Sonia, it’s about producing art with depth and always going all the way.
When I ask them what their goal at the end of everything is, the answer seems like it’s always been obvious to them.
“To tell stories and reach people that might not necessarily think they have anything in common with the people I’m playing or talking about. [For people to] feel empathy. For people like me to see themselves reflected. So much of how I know who I am is from seeing versions of myself in the world and going, that’s me. I want to be that. There wasn’t a lot of that growing up and there’s more of it now and I’m so excited. I hope I can be a part of that for someone else.”