Amindi
⤏ IN CONVERSATION WITH ENONGO LUMUMBA-KASONGO
⤏ PHOTOS BY GRAHAM DUNN | MAKE-UP BY TINA BEAUPRE | STYLING BY LINDSEY HARTMAN
⤏ ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED MARCH 2018
Amindi is a Jamaican-American teen icon who models, sings, produces, and basically runs Instagram and Soundcloud. We’ve performed together several times, but never had a chance to really sit down and chat. Immediately Amindi and I bonded over our shared identity struggles as first-generation kids within the African diaspora, particularly the unique challenge of being taken seriously as an artist by our families. We also chatted about self-care rituals and the necessity and dangers of being an artist living life on the internet.
ENONGO: Can you share a little bit about yourself?
AMINDI: My name is Amindi Frost. My parents are both from Jamaica. They came here; they had me. I’ve only ever lived in LA, more specifically Inglewood and Hawthorne. I’ve only ever migrated between those two cities. My parents are super cool. My dad is a musician. He used to take me out to little night clubs, little reggae clubs and expose me to that world. Those sessions definitely influenced the kind of person that I am today. My mom’s a nurse, she’s education-driven and supportive, but still definitely wants me to stay in school.
E: So you’re Jamaican — I’m from the Ivory Coast and from the Congo. I always felt when I was younger that I was a bad African kid. I noticed a lot of other first-gen kids knew of different dance moves and languages and clothing. But for me it was more like, “Oh, I eat this food at home,” but it wasn’t as deep of a connection as I think a lot of other folks had. Can you talk a little bit about your relationship to your Jamaican identity?
A: I always think about it as a Q-Tip. Like one side is dipped in American culture. I was raised in LA and went to school in LA so all my peers are a huge part of the way that I talk, and the way that I act, and the way that I dress. But the other side of the Q-Tip is dipped in the Jamaican-ness of my household. The culture that my mom and my dad raised me in. When you’re a first generation kid and your parents are from another place, they only know what they know. They raise you the way that they were raised. So my mom was really protective. But both sides of me are pretty prominent — the Jamaican and the American.
E: How does your family feel about everything that you’re doing? In the context of first-gen identity, my parents are both professors. They came here, they worked really hard and now they’re both teaching at academic institutions. For them success looks very different than what I’m trying to do.
“They just expect so much of me. But I have other plans for myself.”
A: My mom is supportive, but she’s still like, “All right, but you gotta go to school. You can do your little hobby, but you can’t do that full time.” Because she doesn’t see it the way that I see it. I see it as something bigger, you know? My mom is also super religious so living in our household I go to church every Sunday. I don’t have a huge family to judge me for not going to a university, but the people in the church are like…
E: Oh! Oh my gosh! Yeah, I know all about that life, oh my goodness.
A: Yeah, so it’s just like a higher standard because I was raised there. They just expect so much of me. But I have other plans for myself. I feel like I’m letting people down when I don’t fulfill the plans that they have for me, even if they’re just in my own head.
E: I understand that so deeply. Even telling my mom, “I’m a rapper” for the first time, it felt like she was thinking, “What are you talking about?” Related to that, I see you blowing up and doing your own thing, but does that translate to your mom? If you’re like, “Look at all the love I’m getting on Soundcloud and Instagram,” does that have the same meaning?
A: Well, first off there’s a generational disconnect and then there’s a cultural disconnect. I always have to explain to my mom when I do cool things that they are genuinely cool and I’m not just gassing myself [laughs]. I’m like, “Yeah the FADER interviewed me,” or, “Noisey interviewed me, ah look Mom! Look how many followers I have; this song has two million plays now!” And she’s like “Oh cool.” Like she just expects more!
I tell my dad these things. My dad is way cooler and he’s way more excited. But my mom is just not into it. She’s proud, but she just doesn’t know. Because I’m not at the Grammy’s it’s like, “Ah that’s good for you, I’m glad you’re having fun with your little hobby. Now go to school, please.”
E: That is the truth — I don’t think my parents ever freaked out untiI I was in The New York Times once and they said, “Oh okay, we know what that is.” Do you think things might change in the future?
A: I’ve always been super sheltered. There was a show that I was invited to play by the Prime Minister of Jamaica. Me and the guys on “Pine and Ginger.” And it’s like the Prime Minister! My mom was like, “We’re gonna go! We’re gonna go!” And I said, “No mom, you gotta let me go.”
I think when she let me go to Jamaica for ten days by myself with the guys, that was kind of a turning point for her. Just realizing that this is not a hobby. That this is what I’m doing.
E: I understand that! I feel like in some ways it’ll always be that way. My older brother was in the band Gym Class Heroes and I remember that they were on MTV and my parents were watching him on MTV and were still skeptical. It helped me to realize that I had to live life for myself. It’s so awesome that you’re still pushing through with music and seeing where it’s going to take you, because I think that you’re going to take over the whole entire world and I’m just so excited!
“There was never a moment in my life when I didn’t want to make music. I’m thinking back to being three or four and I’m looking in the mirror singing like I’m performing.”
E: So, when did you start to realize that music is what you want to be doing with your life?
A: Honestly it’s always been that way. I’ve never thought of myself as being like a lawyer or a doctor. I’ve been super true to myself like, this is not you. I don’t know, I’ve always erred on the side of creativity in everything that I do. I’ve always been into music. I don’t know how to explain it. There was never a moment in my life when I didn’t want to make music. I’m thinking back to being three or four and I’m looking in the mirror singing like I’m performing at a concert.
E: That’s great! And I would say that it takes just as much intelligence, just as much skill to manage a music career and to work towards being a singer. I think that in society we often undervalue creative endeavors and push them to the side and say, well that’s not engineering, that’s not STEM so it’s not important. But art is critical. It’s culture! And that changes the way we think about things. It colors every conversation. So even if you felt like, “Oh I’m not smart enough to do these things,” you’re hella smart to be able to master this craft. You know? Not everybody can sing. Even if they can sing, not everybody can make a song work. It’s an important skill and that’s something I’ve had to learn. Just how important that is.
A: Thank you.
E: How did you navigate having this amazing internet presence while you were still in high school?
A: I graduated last June, but even before that social media had played such a big role in the success of my music. The internet is so amazing. To reach out to so many people in different places and get yourself seen. Over the summer, I was on a reality show about kids in their last summer of high school. The whole time they had full control of my social media. I was locked out of my Instagram; I was locked out of my Twitter. It just felt really stifling because it’s such a huge part of who I am now.
They would have to make rules to accommodate me being a musician and on the show, but I had to censor myself. For a long time I used to post every single day and then it got too stressful thinking like, what if people start unfollowing me because I post too much? Or what if I don’t get enough likes? Or this one got this many likes and that one got that many likes. And it’s just stressful. Social media can be detrimental to my mental health — and mental health is super important. First and foremost I try to take care of that. The more followers you get the more critical people are going to be.
E: Yeah, it’s powerful and awesome and amazing being able to share your music with folks but it’s also a big responsibility to have. And that a lot of people online are fucking awful. And that sucks.
A: You have a song about that!
E: I do, I do. About how much I fucking hate trolls and assholes on the internet. And how foreign of a concept it is to me to see something that I don’t like on the internet and then write something horrifying about it. I think it goes back to what you were saying about mental health. I think a lot of folks don’t know how to cope, so they lash out at people that they think are fine, that they think are successful, that they think don’t see their comments.
What do you do for therapy and self-care? How do you take care of yourself while managing this growing platform and expectations that people have of you and expectations that you have of yourself?
A: I’m bipolar so my moods are very intense. Sometimes it is like, “fuck everything,” and I really have to detach and just be with myself. Whether it’s taking a warm bath or smoking weed. Anything it takes to destress, because I really don’t want to get to a point where I feel like this is too much. The minute it feels even a little bit too stressful, I always know to detach. I never want to push myself to the point where I’m not listening to my body and what I need.
I try to be positive no matter what, but that doesn’t always work. It’s just a matter of finding what works for me. When I’m stressed, I’m also not motivated to fix it. Sometimes I just lay in bed. I almost didn’t go to school today, but I was like, “No, I need to be a person today. I need to get up.” I’ve learned that long, warm baths help. Listening to my favorite music, but not sad music because that makes me sadder. But listening to my favorite music helps. And being high helps — even though that’s a form of escapism, and that’s not always healthy, it does help sometimes.
E: Yeah, I love what you said about getting to know yourself. It’s weird because you’re with yourself all day, but you also need to cultivate that relationship. You need to ask yourself, why am I feeling the way that I feel right now? I’ve started really assessing when something feels a little bit off.
A: Exactly.
E: Really sitting there and being like let me trace that back to whatever the fuck that’s associated with so I can break it down, which I think a lot of folks don’t really do. So that’s awesome that you’ve already trained yourself to have that relationship with yourself. I kind of hate when people ask me this but what are your hopes for your music and for your career? Do you have any concrete things like, “I want to be on the cover of this,” or is it more just…“I want to be able to do this sustainably.”
A: Hm…I don’t know. I spend a lot of time manifesting, but when it comes down to what I really want, I never really know what to say. I just want to be able to take care of myself and be able to give when I can. That’s all I really want. I want to be able to help anybody who needs it. Anyone who listens to me and relates to what I say. That’s always a goal.
“I would record myself in my closet. It was so low quality, but I loved every bit of it because it was something that I made.”
E: As I’ve gotten older my goals have gotten less concrete. I used to think I needed to have specific things, but the further along I go, I realize I just want to be happy and at peace. And have good people around me that I can trust and eat the foods that I want to eat when I want to eat them. I’ll throw in one more question if I can. What advice would you have for other artists who are trying to build their own thing or trying to build the kind of thing that you’re building?
A: I didn’t really start posting my songs onto the internet until 2014. My high school had given all of the freshmen iPads so they could do work. So I learned how to navigate GarageBand and I would record myself in my closet. It was so low quality, but I loved every bit of it because it was something that I made.
And so I feel like as far as advice goes, it would just be to make sure that whatever you make, you love. And that you’re proud of it and not just doing it because it’s cool and trendy. Do it because it’s something that makes you genuinely happy. Music is art and an artist should always be proud of what they are putting out into the world no matter what they think the reception is going to be. I think that’s the most important piece of it.
I didn’t even record my voice for the longest time; I would just make little GarageBand beats. And it was a lot easier to work GarageBand in 2014. I got pretty good and I would make little beats and I would put those on Soundcloud and my friends would hear them. And I would make little loops of my voice and it was cool because it was DIY and it was just me and my friends. And we liked it and it was just cool. I’d get a couple hundred plays and I was like, “Ahhh sick.” And I was happy with that.
I was content with that.
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⤏ ENONGO LUMUMBA-KASONGO (SHE/HER) IS A RAPPER/PRODUCER/PH.D. /MUSICIAN BY THE NAME OF SAMMUS. THROUGH HER COMPELLING AND HONEST MUSIC, ENONGO TACKLES VARIOUS SUBJECTS INCLUDING RACE, FEMINISM, VIDEO GAMES, THE MUSIC BUSINESS, MENTAL HEALTH, GROWING UP, AND RELATIONSHIPS. INSPIRED BY THE FEMINIST BOUNTY HUNTER PROTAGONIST OF NINTENDO'S METROID VIDEO GAME SERIES, ENONGO ADOPTED THE STAGE PERSONA "SAMMUS" TO TELL HER STORY AND EXPERIENCES THROUGH HER MUSIC. ENONGO IS A MASTER LYRICIST, A BLACK WOMAN, A FIRST-GENERATION AMERICAN OF WEST AFRICAN DESCENT, AN INTROVERT, A GAMER, A SELF-DESCRIBED "WEIRDO," A TEACHER, AND A FRIEND.