Gabrielle Gorman: Escape Artist
⤏ IN CONVERSATION WITH CIANA ALESSI
⤏ PHOTOS, FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS, AND SET DESIGN BY DUSTIN STAFFORD | MAKE-UP BY CHRISTINA HARPER
Gabrielle Gorman projects the confidence of a seasoned media mogul and she has every right to do so. For one, she is an incredibly talented writer and filmmaker. Secondly, she is telling stories about the things that truly matter — Black experiences, capitalist hypocrisy, and self-discovery. She also has exceptional fashion sense and alarmingly gorgeous skin, both of which warrant their own brand of confidence. You might already be familiar with her twin sister Amanda, the inaugural poet for President Joe Biden. But you’ll be pleased to see that these genes graced us twofold — with two equally impressive and exceptionally talented Black women, who need have no relation to blossom in their own gardens.
CIANA ALESSI: Obviously you are very much a multi-hyphenate talent, but I wanted to start by talking about your Youtube series Bell Parks that you did recently, right?
GABRIELLE GORMAN: Yes.
CA: How exactly did you come to tell that specific story about empty corporate activism? I thought it was so interesting.
GG: Without being too specific, I had some past experiences that compelled me to think deeper and more critically about corporate activism. In film school and throughout my professional career, I’ve been part of so many conversations where authenticity and social justice took a back seat while money was prioritized. It's difficult to have to look at your own art through a capitalist microscope all the time, even as someone who considers herself relatively business savvy. It often necessitates negotiating your own voice. But I’m stubborn, so I try to remain authentic throughout my content building. And that brought me to writing a series about someone who does find herself compromised, becoming a quasi-Uncle Tom, and exploring how this changes and challenges her.
CA: So it sounds like you resonated with the character you created?
GG: Yes.
CA: I loved watching it and I thought it was so funny. I was also like, “Is Bell Parks a Capricorn?” Do you have any insight about what her sign may be?
GG: [Laughs] That’s a great question and I’ve never thought of that, because I don’t pay attention to the zodiac signs. I mean, I’m a Pisces, but I think she would be a different sign from me. If you’re knowledgeable about that then I’ll take your word for it.
CA: Have you ever acted in your own work before?
GG: This was the first! I did improv at one point in middle school, I did it once in college because we were required to. I was Juliet in our really off-broadway production [of Romeo and Juliet], so this was essentially my first time acting. When I first started writing, I tried to convince myself I’d have someone else play the character. I did look at a lot of people, but as I was writing I would read Bell’s voice out-loud to myself and it was a lot of fun.
I was ultimately convinced that I needed to play the role when I saw two of my former teachers at a Martin Luther King Jr. event. They said, “Yeah you have to do this, there’s no one better.”
CA: How do you feel about how that decision worked out? Do you think it was a good choice?
GG: I do. It was really nerve racking at first. I was afraid of being perceived as self-important or filled with ego or something, but that’s such a crazy assertion to make. And then I found myself being intimidated by the character, because Bell is super smart and witty. She’s able to put it out there like, no holds barred. And me? I’m good when it comes to writing essays, but when it comes to speaking to someone, I’m always second-guessing what I’m saying and trying to find my confidence.
I also learned how my own internalized — to be honest, self hatred — affected the script. I think so often you see depictions of strong women who find themselves in a super new relationship and feel like it’s their fault if it ends. There’s like, a huge breakup because these women couldn’t love or didn’t know how to love or whatever! I feel like that is where I really failed myself. Because I’ve been telling myself for so long that I was unworthy of love, that narrative found its way into the series. Now that I’m out of a really terrible heartbreak, I can look back at my situation clearly and look back at the series and say, “I don’t want this to be Bell’s fault. I want this to be a narrative where she’s super strong and super confident and she can enter a relationship and be romantic and loveable.”
CA: Watching the show as a Black woman, it resonated with me so much. I’m personally surrounded by white people at home and professionally. Is that your experience as well or is that just to set up the character?
GG: That was definitely my experience. I went to this small private school in Santa Monica that was prominently white and then at UCLA I was the only Black person in the film school for the first two years until they brought in transfer students. I’m definitely too used to being in all white spaces.
“They’re always trying to put us on opposite ends of the spectrum, or they are hyper-focused on how we’re the same.”
CA: Navigating that is a constant burden to a certain degree.
GG: It is. I feel like I’ve certainly received judgment from the inside and outside of the Black community which really sucks. Sometimes I think that’s how we perpetuate our own oppression in a sense, those feelings of judgement. Especially in high school where my sister and I were both told by our Black friends, “You’re a different kind of Black girl.” Which was so insane because we’re all filling in the same bubble. I know who I am and I’m very proud to be a Black woman. I shouldn’t have to dance a particular way or speak a particular way. I’ve experienced a similar thing in college as well. All of this is to say, I’ve struggled with that “othering” in all-white spaces and all-Black spaces.
CA: I totally understand that existence of being constantly policed about who you are and how you fit into your demographic when you shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone.
GG: It’s great because I feel like I’m always drawn to other outsiders so I’ve met a lot of really fantastic people in college who have also experienced similar things. There’s a community out there!
CA: Yeah, like a little band of outsiders sticking together. You just mentioned your [twin] sister [Amanda Gorman]. I know you recently worked together on the “Vote for the Future” PSA, do you work together often? Do you feel like you mesh well creatively? Do you enjoy working together?
GG: Creatively we are oftentimes on a similar wavelength, but I think right now we really want to explore our voices separately. I think that’s mostly on my end because — in all transparency — I love her and support her, but it can be hard being attached to her image constantly. I have turned down quite a few people who say, “We only want you to produce this project if your sister is on board.” I feel like we both deserve to be judged separately and have our work perceived individually. I would want her to feel like she’s being heard and being seen for who she is and I want that for myself as well.
CA: I have two older sisters as well, and I’ve always felt like no matter what I was always being compared.
GG: This one woman DMed me on Instagram like, “I loved your performance at the inauguration and your outfit. I know you’re not Amanda, but I see you as being the same people!” And I was like no honey! We are separate human beings and the fact that you think that’s a compliment is just so bizarre to me. Even when they are well-intentioned, it feels like people are always trying to figure out who’s the good twin and who’s the bad one? Who’s the introvert, who’s the extrovert? They’re always trying to put us on opposite ends of the spectrum, or they are hyper-focused on how we’re the same. We have the same upbringing, but are so dissimilar in many ways. I just have to be kind of careful now because I want to be seen for me.
CA: And you’re clearly great! This is a totally random question, but on the note of twins, did you get put in the exact same outfit when you were younger?
“I think you have to be perceptive to be a storyteller, it’s more about listening than speaking most of the time.”
GG: Yeah, we did wear a lot of the same outfits up until about seven-years-old. As we got older, I started to get into fashion first, so I started to wear a lot of pink and black and she’d wear a lot of yellow.
CA: Nice you’re kinda coordinated. What are your desert island movie picks?
GG: I have a list I pull out because I get too overwhelmed. Little Miss Sunshine, Zootopia, This is the End. It’s a good mix of things! Little Miss Sunshine is a feel-good, cry-my-eyes-out, connect-to-the-character film. This is the End — Amanda and I had a year where we watched that probably 20 times, we were obsessed with it. And Zootopia is fun!
CA: Do you have a favorite place you go to for inspiration or solitude? Somewhere you’re like, “I know I can go here and be myself?”
GG: Before COVID, I would say a theme park. Or really just Disneyland and Universal Studios. I’m obsessed with theme parks, and I have no shame saying that. I love immersive experiences and I’m such an escapist. Nowadays it’s like, where do I go? I just go on a lot of really long walks and hikes. But, I’d say a lot of my favorite places are in me, like my mental places.
CA: Are you a thrill seeker? Or is it just the experience of being in a theme park?
GG: I’m not a thrill seeker! I’m not a roller coaster person. I go on slow rides. Like, my favorite ride at Disneyland is the Story Book ride, you’re in a little boat and looking at the miniature houses and scenery. I’m about ambiance. I like Pirate of the Caribbean a lot. I just want to get away from reality. I don’t need to be on roller coasters. No ma’am!
CA: Do you feel like you’ve always been a very observant person?
GG: I like that you picked up on that! I grew up very introverted, So I became used to observing things. I feel like people I’m comfortable with don’t think that that’s true, they think I’m lying, but I’m much more comfortable taking a step back and just watching life. That was my favorite thing to do in college. I didn’t like going to parties, I didn’t really like being in groups. I just liked being in the dining hall alone and people-watching. I think you have to be perceptive to be a storyteller, it’s more about listening than speaking most of the time.
CA: I feel like I’m the same way. When I was younger people would always say, “You’re so shy,” and I’d say, “No, I’m just living. I’m taking it all in!”
GG: [Laughs] Exactly.
CA: Do you have any creative outlets that you turn to specifically just to have fun?
GG: I love to dance! I grew up dancing at academies and doing camps and intensives, but I think the competitiveness of it all really stunted my growth. I always felt more comfortable dancing alone or with friends. It’s been really great to connect with that. I love literally every style of style of dance from hip hop to Voguing, from Nigerian to contemporary. It’s really freeing when I’m just jamming to Kid Cudi or Frank Ocean or something. I also recently have gotten back into songwriting. I actually started writing music before I was writing anything else. Recently I’ve gotten back into it, and back into playing piano. I really have to have something to say, though. I can’t just write for no reason.
CA: When you’re an artist in any capacity, you have to take time to do things that you just purely enjoy and aren’t capitalizing off of.
GG: And that is so freeing! To dance and not have to think about performing, or trying to spin it into cash. Being able to write songs that are just for me. It’s how I’m able to be present in my emotions.
“If you ever want a feel good moment look up “Racists Getting Kicked Off Planes.” It’s an act of self care.”
CA: Are you on TikTok?
GG: I started one forever ago but I don’t use it [laughs]. You know what I’m obsessed with? Compilations of people getting kicked off of airplanes. There’s a whole new wave of people getting kicked off for not wearing masks, but before it was people just losing their minds insulting the flight attendants. I just like seeing justice get served. Because on planes they really don’t play games, they will kick you off. I love seeing them be like, “Nope, you’re off. You’re gone.” It’s justice in a way you don’t see usually. If you ever want a feel good moment look up “Racists Getting Kicked Off Planes.” It’s an act of self care.
CA: Where do you see yourself in five years?
GG: I’m all about big goals. I try to project the confidence of a white man and say “I’m gonna make this happen.” So I want to have a deal with a major network. I will see Bell Parks out there on Netflix, or on a big streaming platform like that. I would love to be an established actress, have an album out, and be seen as some sort of fashion icon. Those are the main things. I’d like to be happy.
CA: That’s secondary [laughs].
GG: It’s a journey, but I’ve really started to prioritize my happiness in the past year. I used to feel like happiness was not real. Like it was an intangible fantasy and I was just trying to be not unhappy. I was hyper-focused and productive, but it just was not a sustainable way of living. I would love to be happy and surrounded by a supportive group of people. To be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. That’s the main goal.
⤏ CIANA ALESSI (SHE/HER) IS A LOS ANGELES-BASED WRITER, SCHEANA SHAY IMPERSONATOR, AND EDITORIAL DIRECTOR FOR JR HI THE MAGAZINE. ORIGINALLY FROM BUFFALO, NY, CIANA LOVES WATCHING SHREK, LISTENING TO ABBA, AND PRETENDING SHE’S NOT VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE O.C. GETTING TAKEN OFF HULU. HER WORK CENTERS ON CONTEMPLATING THE NUANCES OF MISCELLANEOUS POP CULTURE AND PROVIDING INTERSECTIONAL CRITIQUES OF CONSUMERISM. EVEN THOUGH FAYE HATES TO SEE IT, SHE’S A LIBRA. IN HER FREE TIME, SHE FILLS HER IPHONE MEMORY WITH PICTURES OF HER PUG, DUCK, AND IS GENERALLY INDECISIVE.