Steak
⤏ IN CONVERSATION WITH YASI SALEK
⤏ PHOTOS BY CARLY PALMOUR | STYLING BY LINDSEY HARTMAN
⤏ ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED MARCH 2018
Rachael Finley, also known as “Steak,” also known by her legions of admiring fans (present company included) as an effervescent burst of accessible awesome in a world full of heavy-handed curation and endless Internet posturing, also known by her daughter Mars as “Mom” and by her employees as “Boss” (just kidding, I’m pretty sure they just call her Rachael), is a woman who wears many hats (see beginning part of this incredibly long sentence). I sat down with her and asked her how on earth, all while she served me homemade vegan food and made me cry laughing (petition to add cook and comedian to the list).
YASI: Faye wanted me to ask you, “How does she do it all?” but how about we start with what exactly is “it all” that you do?
STEAK: For a living, I run the business side of Teenage. I do all of it. As in, the staffing, the management, all production. Pretty much as soon as it’s a concept, then it’s my project. Teenage is really great, but it’s not really my creative output. I enjoy running the business...that’s really where I flourish. But I really wanted to make a little mesh crop top, and I couldn’t in the men’s brand, so I started Hot Lava.
That’s pretty much my day to day, and I’m trying to write a book as well. A while ago, probably too long ago for me to write them and say, “Hey I have it now,” I got offered a book deal. Again, everyone else comes to me with these ideas. “Hey do you want to write a book?” And I didn’t want to before, but I guess I do now, sure. So I’m in the process of writing this book.
Y: How did your blog come about?
S: Coming from South Florida, not a lot of people move to Los Angeles. I’ve always been an internet kid; I was an early adopter of every social media platform. So when I moved out here, I started this blog, because I was so sick of so many text messages from people back home asking, “So what’s going on in your life?” It was easier to be like, “Look at this website, here are my updates.” I started this blog for my family and friends, and then I got this other following of people who were tuning in to see this girl who was just going to these places and doing these things.
And then I got cancer, and I got this whole other pot load of people who were interested in me. I was also communicating with my family, so it wasn’t about trying to be cool — it was more a website about what I was doing. I had no plan, but then people started following me and asking questions, and it started getting to the point that I was getting more questions than I was having time to write. So I started a whole part [Steak Talk] where I just answered the questions.
Y: What made you feel finally comfortable enough to start answering the questions?
S: To this day, I will only answer questions that I have experience in. I tell everyone to go to therapy, that’s my number one thing. Because they have all the answers. Or seemingly so, anyway. I was about 20 when I started the blog, and 24 when I started the advice portion. I’m 31 now. By the time I was 24, I felt ready to answer things. Like when people would say “I’m only 20, I don’t know what to do.” I could say, well I was 20 once, let me tell you what I did.
We have something like 250,000 girls on there, just talking and reading. I see everyone come in as “Anonymous,” because people like to submit anonymously more often than not. Sometimes it feels like I’m just talking to like five girls. I have to remind myself that even though I just see the name “Anonymous” over and over again, it’s not just one person.
“There is no losing in life. As long as you try, you haven’t lost.”
Y: So, how DO you balance everything? Work, your passion projects, and motherhood?
S: I try to balance it all. That’s really all the answer is, is that I try. I think some days some things give more than others. My motherhood never gives, it won’t give. That’s the number one. But I think when you get a little bit older, you realize what’s important, and things shift in that manner. I don’t know, the only answer is that I’m trying to juggle it all, and sometimes the balls fall on the ground.
Y: Do you like being in charge?
S: I do to some degree. I’m a really creative person, but I don’t necessarily like to be a creative person, if that makes sense. I like it on my own hours, on my own time, no deadlines. I remember back when I worked at the record label, when I was still an intern, my boss asked me “Are you a dreamer, or are you a doer?” And it was the first time I ever heard someone position it as not the same thing. I remember being very angry with him. Because why do I have to be one or the other?
Hot Lava is a challenge for me because it’s me. I have to fully take all responsibility for how Hot Lava is doing, and that’s exciting for its own challenge. Owning your failure is part of success, you learn from your mistakes. But failures contribute to your success. I like having all the responsibility. It’s scary, but it’s also fulfilling. Those little failures, they drive success.
“If I’m a contemporary size small, and these are too small for me, what are other girls experiencing?”
Y: Why has it always been important to you to have plus sizes as part of Hot Lava?
S: In between working at the record label and doing the clothing line, I was a fit model. Which is basically a living mannequin that the designers sew the clothes to. I knew that my exact measurements, all of them, are a size small. I would get clothes from brands that I liked, and nothing fit me. Everything fit an XXS. If I’m a contemporary size small, and these are too small for me, what are other girls experiencing? And it really stressed me out. Like nobody that’s a size large can fit into XYZ cool brand? I realized that all these brands you see on Instagram weren’t making inclusive clothing, so when I started Hot Lava, I wanted everything to fit as many people as we could. It was really important to me. Now we go to XXXL, and I would eventually like to go larger as well. So that has been my newest project, learning how to do that, and taking on more sizes as I learn.
Y: What advice would you give to young women who might be struggling with figuring out who they are, and what they want to do, and how to exist in this world?
S: Move. Move somewhere. It doesn’t matter where you move. You can always go back home, and that doesn’t make you a failure. In fact, that’s fucking cool that you moved. You’re a success. Even if you only last for a month. Just go try something else, meet new people. Moving somewhere new will answer a lot of life’s questions at that time. You have to reinvent yourself, but not from scratch. You get to reinvent yourself within the constraints of that new place.
Watch YouTube tutorials. Just try things. You can just do your best. And if it doesn’t work out, you can try something else. And find out where you fit. There is no losing in life. As long as you try, you haven’t lost. There was this Anaïs Nin quote in my MySpace bio that said something like, “Life is a process of states, and moving through these different states is part of life, and the only death is to stay stagnant.”
I think that’s so true.
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⤏ YASI SALEK (SHE/HER) IS A WRITER AND PROMINENT INFLUENCER IN THE NUTRITIONAL YEAST SPACE.