Dana Donnelly on Becoming Who She Is
⤏ COMEDIAN DANA DONNELLY ON HER NAME, HER IDOLS, AND PROTECTING HER INNER PEACE
⤏ IN CONVERSATION WITH HADLEY ROSENBAUM
⤏ PHOTOGRAPHY BY HADLEY ROSENBAUM
⤏ MAKEUP BY EMILY KEOUGH
When Jr Hi the Magazine asked me to do this interview, I actually punched the sky with excitement. Dana is hands down my favorite person to get lost in conversation with. Her observations of the world are as funny as they are whip smart. Whenever I spend time with her, I feel like we could collectively lift a truck with our minds. Dana has a unique way of making others feel seen and heard. Here are a few words I shared with my multi-hyphenate friend and muse. You can catch her literally anywhere — she does it all.
HADLEY ROSENBAUM: Tell us where [your Instagram handle] “Hottest Dana” came from.
DANA DONNELLY: My whole life, I’ve been really insecure because no one else is named Dana, but then I realized how that’s actually kind of freeing. I'm never going to be compared. If my name was Emma, then you're comparing me to other Emmas. And there are so many other Emmas, right? And there are also so many hot Emmas! But if you actually think about the name Dana, the only others I knew were Dana White —UFC President, Dana Carvey — the male comedian, and Dana Gould — I guess also a male comedian. It's really nice that of all the Danas, you probably aren't comparing me to a Dana that's better than me or hotter than me.
HR: That’s right!
DD: There's something nice about that. But when you grow up [and] when you're younger, all you want to do is blend in. I always wanted one of those names where it was like Kate S.
HR: Annie R.
DD: Yeah exactly! I always wanted to be Annie R. [laughs] but now I'm like, oh thank god! Because if I was Annie R. then there would be Annie L. who's a supermodel and then everyone would be like, “Oh she's the ugly Annie.” Now I can never be the ugly Annie.
HR: And you are the hottest Dana.
DD: It’s a joke, obviously. I'm sure there are hotter Danas out there and that's okay. But as I always say, if you know a hotter Dana keep it to yourself because I don’t need to know.
HR: You have a distinct brand of comedy and sense of self that translates into everything you do. Who are you influenced by and what inspires you?
DD: I’m generally inspired by movies. My main comedic inspiration when I was younger was Mindy Kaling because she was also a woman of color in a predominantly white male space. I really resonated with her, and she made me want to be a comedy writer. Hearing someone [who also] referred to herself lovingly as ugly or chubby was really powerful to me. Especially as someone who had — maybe not so lovingly — referred to herself as ugly and chubby. Mindy Kaling was a really early, very strong influence. And then, just any short girl. Short girls in creative fields really speak to me. I realized recently I love every short girl celebrity. I love Ariana Grande. I love the Olsen twins. I love Hillary Duff. I just kind of realized I'm [influenced by] any short girl who's doing big things.
“Hearing someone who lovingly referred to herself as ugly or chubby was really powerful to me. Especially as someone who had ALSO — maybe not so lovingly — referred to herself as ugly and chubby.”
HR: What are you most proud of in your work so far?
DD: Of my work so far, I’m just most proud of myself for consistently showing up and doing it. I guess I'm just proud that I've done anything. It's hard to do anything. I'm proud of a lot of things that I’ve contributed to. I think of my own independent work, I have not made anything yet where I'm like, this is me, all of me. I think that's what I'm striving for. In general, I'm proud of everything that I've done just because I've done it.
HR: There's an Ira Glass quote about ambitions and how much time you have put into your work. I know your ambitions, and I know that you will rise to the occasion as you continue to grow.
DD: Thank you so much, Hadley. The Ira Glass quote I’m thinking of is something about your talent and your taste and how your taste is beyond your talent.
HR: For most artists it takes a really long time for your talent to catch up with your taste. We're at Stanley Kubrick level now, and we're slowly getting better. That’s inspiring.
DD: I’m slowly becoming better than Stanley Kubrick [laughs].
HR: You are! You are, it just takes time. Move over white men. If you're not short and you don't have a lot to say then move over.
DD: If you’re not short and chatty then get the fuck out of my way.
HR: What is the biggest hardship in your industry for you?
DD: In general, when you are not a white man people always project things onto you that you’re not always aware of. So, I feel a lot of pressure to always communicate perfectly who I am and that’s very stressful. I feel like I have to constantly let people know who I am because I’m not the norm. And if you don't let them know, they'll kind of fill in the blanks for themselves, maybe incorrectly. Sometimes I feel like I can never really focus on my work because other people are so focused on how I identify.
HR: Yeah it's exhausting to explain yourself constantly.
DD: Or I’m automatically perceived as not being smart or deserving.
HR: What are three descriptive words that you feel like embody your creativity and your art?
DD: Observational, camp, pink.
HR: I remember one of my favorite tweets of yours is: “There should never be more than four men in a room. “
DD: Yeah because what are they talking about? What are you doing? What are you saying? A group of more than three men is a frat and we know that frats are evil. Frat culture is evil. The founding fathers? Evil. I really think that men left to their own devices produce some sort of innate evil. This is kind of unrelated, but on Valentine's Day, I was looking for a card and I realized that the only pre-written cards they have are for wives. They don't make any pre-written cards for husbands because a woman knows how to be like, “I love you, honey.” I think [there was] an entire aisle full of cards “For Wife” and because men are unable to just be like, “I love you, honey.” They don't have the words. That's not even in their lexicon. I think of a group of men in a room and what must they be saying? It’s not “I love you, honey.”
“Of my work so far, I’m just most proud of myself for consistently showing up and doing it. I guess I'm just proud that I've done anything. It's hard to do anything. In general, I'm proud of everything that I've done just because I've done it.”
HR: I just saw the movie Women Talking which was prolific and profound and they had one male scribe. If it was a movie called Men Talking it would literally be any Marvel movie. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? How do you want to feel in 10 years?
DD: I want to feel happy. My goal every year is to just feel a little less anxious and less insecure. That's just kind of it. If I feel less insecure than I did last year, I did something right. I think I do feel less anxious every year.
HR: The most important things are taking care of yourself and taking care of your creativity and the people around you. Every year that you feel more secure in your body is a fucking win.
DD: I try not to have goals that are influenced too much by the whims of others. Like, I can't control if I'm going to win an award or something. That's ultimately up to someone else. But what I can control is my motivation to make things and show up as the best version of myself.
HR: People can't handle self-actualization and protecting their inner peace.
DD: And that's also frustrating because I'm just like, I wish you could have inner peace, too. The world would be so much better if you like yourself, too. It does suck that achieving inner peace kind of makes people who are not at peace with themselves really hate you. I’m not trying to make you hate me. I’m just doing me. People don't respond to self-love.
HR: It does make moving through the universe kind of taxing, right?
DD: Exactly. I don't know, are you just supposed to pretend you hate yourself?
HR: No, that's even more exhausting. It has been a long journey to get here.
DD: Some might say it took me all of this time until now. I have to unlearn self-hatred every day.
HR: There are so many people that have been authentically themselves since they were born and that wasn't me. I had coping mechanisms and things that I needed to figure out in order to show up as me.
DD: No same. I had so many deep repression tactics and things that I was doing that were actively inhibiting my ability to be myself. It's never too late to become who you are.