The Donnelly Diaries
⤏ A DAY IN THE LIFE OF TWO SISTERS IN ISOLATION
⤏ BY DANA AND EVE DONNELLY
FEBRUARY 7th, 2021 IN THE LIFE OF DANA DONNELLY as reported by Eve Donnelly
1PM — I wake up and see Dana. She comes into my room to take back a pair of shoes I took from her. I try to tell her about my night's rest, but she is out of the room before I can finish because she’s “meeting somebody.” In a panoramic?? Babe, where are you going!? She suggests I talk to her boyfriend instead, but that was a horrible suggestion.
3PM — It turns out Dana just went for a walk with her friend. When she got back I made her dye my hair. After my hair was dyed we talked shit about the Super Bowl because we don’t understand it.
5PM — Dana took some fit pics of me and they were BOMB! We really knocked it out of the park. The fashion influencer community isn’t ready.
5:30PM — Dana leaves to go get pasta. I think it’s for both of us.
6:30PM — Dana’s back with the pasta and boy is it tasty! We smoke some weed and complain more about the Super Bowl. Dana tweeted about the Super Bowl earlier that day and is getting ruthlessly bullied online. Mostly people saying she looks like a lawn gnome. So basically an average day.
7PM — Dana’s boyfriend is still watching “the big game” and we still don’t understand! We want to watch Sherlock Holmes.
7:30PM — The Super Bowl is FINALLY over and the winners are the Cuckaneers or something. We start watching Sherlock and Dana is complaining about how her body hurts. I say I don’t care. She always has something new to complain about. Ten minutes in she makes us pause so she can get ice cream.
8PM — We just hit play and Dana asks us to pause again. She makes Robert fill up her Hydroflask.
8:55PM — I ask if we can pause so I can pee.
9:10PM — Dana asks if we can pause so she can pee. Why didn’t she just go when I did? I hate that.
10:30PM — We’ve been watching Sherlock for a while and are midway through an episode. Dana says we need to stop because she can’t keep her eyes open. Bitch, it’s 10:30! Suck it up! I want to see what happens! I ultimately lose the battle and Biter and I are kicked out of the room. Stupid senior citizen hours! I leave and go about the rest of my night and that’s the last I see of Dana, the lawn gnome. Until tomorrow.
FEBRUARY 7th, 2021 IN THE LIFE OF EVE DONNELLY as reported by Dana Donnelly
1PM — Eve wakes up super late, I’d been up since 9 AM, but the first time I saw Eve was at 1PM. I went into her room to get back a pair of shoes that she had borrowed. Eva had literally just opened her eyes. She tries to tell me about how well she slept or whatever, but I had to go for a (socially distanced obv) (masked obv) walk with a friend.
2:20PM — I got back from my walk and went into Eve’s room. I saw a clump of her hair that she had removed from her brush. It was so gross. I told her I thought it was gross, and she reminded me of this one time she had a plastic cup with hair and snot in her room. She asked me to help her re-dye her hair purple. We fawned over my dog.
2:30PM — We dye Eve’s hair.
4PM — Eve comes into my room with her hair done, it looks great. We read mean comments on one of Eve’s tweets where people say she is the worse Donnelly.
5PM — I help Eve take fashion influencer pictures for her Instagram. She’s trying to transition from ASMR-tist to just a normal influencer and it’s kind of hard, but I think she’ll be able to do it. We take them at golden hour and the lighting is perfect and they turn out amazing.
5:30PM — I go to pick up pasta takeout and Eve asks if there will be enough for her. Begrudgingly, I say there will be.
6:30PM — Eve and I wait for my boyfriend, Robert, to finish watching the Super Bowl. We want to watch Sherlock but we have to wait for Robert. We snuggle the puppy and smoke weed.
7:40PM — Robert finally finishes watching “the big game.” Eve and I read more mean comments from the internet. We watch Sherlock. Eve plays Candy Crush on her phone so she keeps losing track of the plot and asking really stupid questions. It’s moments like these I can really tell she dropped out of high school.
8:55PM — We’re watching Sherlock and Eve asks if we can pause so she can go pee.
9:10PM — Everyone is mad at me because I asked to pause so I could pee right after Eve had just paused.
10:46PM — I get too tired to finish the second episode of Sherlock and despite Eve’s protests I insist we go to bed. I say goodnight to her and the puppy and I think about how I’m going to have to wake her up early tomorrow to help me film a self tape.
⤏ DANA DONNELLY (SHE/HER) IS A LOS ANGELES BASED WRITER, ACTOR, AND SELF-PROCLAIMED ‘CROPE TOP COMEDIAN.’ SHE IS CURRENTLY A WRITE ON FREEFORM’S EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE OKAY. DANA HAS OPENED FOR ILANA GLAZER AND BEFORE THE PANDEMIC YOU COULD FIND HER PERFORMING AT CLUBS AND THEATERS AROUND LOS ANGELES. NOW YOU CAN FIND HER ON TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, AND SADLY, TIKTOK.
⤏ EVE DONNELLY (SHE/HER) IS AN ASMR-TIST TURNED FASHION INFLUENCER AND PODCASTER. ORIGINALLY FROM THE BAY AREA, EVE DECIDED TO DROP OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL AND MOVE TO LA TO “VIBE,” AND THAT’S GOING PRETTY WELL FOR HER. SHE LOVES HER DOG AND STIRRING UP ONLINE CONTROVERSY. CHECK OUT HER PODCAST WITH DANA “YOUNG OLD” WHICH YOU CAN FIND ON ALL THE PODCAST APPS AND YOUTUBE.